My Hiatus and Why I'm Back

I took a hiatus from blogging - social media was detracting from my ability to develop my own thoughts independently of the 'noise' that can sometimes come from social media (albeit it well-intentioned, and sometimes correct, noise). If you've never taken such a break, I highly recommend it. Social media is great, but in a moderated dose.

But, I'm back. Who knows for how long, but for now I am. And here's why - I finally looked into one of the details of on the major issues facing our country (and the world) today; and now I have something to say to you, my readers.

Now, before I lose you - let me say this: this is important, this affects you and your kids tremendously. This is an issue you need to have an informed opinion on. And that's my goal, at least for now - just to encourage you to think about this topic and to do your own research.

We're at a period in our country's development where there is an underlying tension between safety and our rights. Where corporations can donate to campaigns and causes as if they are people, but can't be accessed or held accountable as if they are people. Where government is so big and so vague that it's hard to know what's truth and what's not. Where 'he said/she said' is the name of the game. We live in a time of fear - based on gun rights issues, based on gender/sexuality issues, based on skin color issues.

But fear cannot be our motivator - fear always acts irrationally. Fear either hides or fights, fear does not change. Fear can be a catalyst for productive thought but fear itself is not productive thought. And our fear as a nation is about to grow (and potentially be manipulated) over the most personal and ubiquitous of topics - our food. We cannot be governed by fear. We must be driven by love - for our children, for our bodies, and for our health as a nation.

Before you stop reading - hear this: I love gluten. I love dairy. I love nuts. I love butter. I love chocolate, coffee, and booze. I'm not writing this from a place of superiority - my pantry looks pretty similar to yours right now (kraft mac n'cheese, lucrene grated & string cheese, chicken of the sea tuna, kellogs nurtigrain bars). But yesterday and today my perspective on food got blown out of the water - I mean, sky high, earth shattering - out of the water. And here's why.

I stopped talking about my opinion on allergies, how to eat healthy, our cultures obsession with food, etc just long enough to listen to a few Ted Talks and watch the movie Food Inc. And then this morning, I went to a breakfast hosted by the campaign for Washington State prop 522 that goes to the ballot this November, and heard talks from Robyn O'Brien, author of The Unhealthy Truth and Joyti Stephens, Sustainability Director for Nature's Path. And here's what I learned:

* Genetically modified organisms (GMOs) are in nearly 80% of all foods sold in grocery stores

* There is essentially no research done on the impact of ingesting GMOs. AKA - we don't know if they are good or bad or neutral for us.

We, as a country, have applied our 'innocent until proven guilty' principle to our food system. There are a lot of statistics that can be scary - from both sides of the argument, but here is the jist of it: we don't know if GMOs are safe and yet we allow them to be in 80% of our foods. 

And they are unlabeled. 

Every part of your car is labeled and can be traced to a manufacturer. Every part of your shirt is labeled and can be traced to a manufacturer. Every part of your mattress is labeled and can be traced to a manufacturer. But not your food. The government has decided we don't need to know what is in our food - we can own a gun, we can go to war at 18, we can demand labels on hot drinks telling us they are hot - but we don't need to know what is in our own food.

Proposition 522 would require all food companies to label food containing GMOs. Not that companies remove GMOs from products, not that GMO products be accompanied by a warning label like alcohol or tobacco, not that they be taxed extra. Just that they be labeled. Labeled. So you, the consumer, knows what you're buying and what you're feeding to your children.

In a land where we pride ourselves on access to information, and a right to choose - we are wildly amiss if we let the very substances which become our literal bodies be determined by a government or corporation.

Let me say that again - we are letting corporations and government decide the contents, unchecked, of the very (pardon the play on words) fiber of our being.

Here are some facts (and while correlation does not equal causation - correlation of this magnitude warrants some research):

64 countries worldwide require the labeling of GMOs (or ban them all together) - including Australia, New Zealand, Japan, China, Russia, and all of Europe
(note - major companies like Coca Cola, Kellogs, PepsiCo, and Montsanto all reformat their products to provide non-GMO foods in these countries.)

Connecticut & Maine both recently passed legislation demanding the labeling of GMO-foods

The government currently uses tax payer dollars for subsidizing farmers and companies that use GMO seed and products

Organic farmers are charged fees to prove their food is organic and fees to label as organic (thurs, organic food is more expensive. It's like getting charged a fee to wear a seat belt.)

The US ranks 26th out of 29 in a recent UN Health report on children's health in the top 29 richest countries in the world

The Health Facts:

1 in 13 children have a food allergy

Hospitals reported a 265% increase in hospitalizations due to allergies between (A) 1998-2000 and (B) 2004-2006
* Commercially marketed GMO-food was first introduced in the US 1994

Cancer is now the leading cause of illness-related death for children under 15 in the US

41% of living Americans will get cancer - 1 in 2 men, and 1 in 3 women. Only 10% of cancers are genetic.

We, as a nation, spend 17c of every dollar on healthcare - we are sick, and it's hard to be a global competitor when you are sick

Major epi pin producing companies have seen a 76% increase in sales of epi pins

Our children's generation has been named generation Rx 

Our children's generation is the first generation in history that is predicted to have a shorter life span than their parents 

Let me say that again: Kai and Mika will die younger than I will. I'm predicted to live until my mid-80s. They aren't predicted to make it that long.

Those are the facts. Whether it's GMOs or something else - we are doing something majorly wrong. And if 64 countries worldwide say GMOs need to be at minimum labeled, if not illegal - well, then that is probably a good place to start.

Our family is making a shift - we're still going to eat gluten, red meat, and dairy. But it's going to be organic because we will not feed Kai and Mika genetically modified foods that parents in 64 other countries can choose no to feed their kids. USDA certified organic foods are guaranteed, trace-ably, GMO-free.

Yes, Organic is more expensive - but if more of us buy organic, it will increase demand and drive down prices. And if we demand GMO food be labeled - our major food producers will be required to adapt the foods we eat. Just like they have for all those other countries.

If you're interested in reading more/finding out more, I recommend the following:

Ted Talk by Robyn O'Brien: http://www.robynobrien.com/

Ted Talk by 11yr old Birke Baehr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7Id9caYw-Y

Information on Yes on 522: http://yeson522.com/?gclid=CLrUs9PzubgCFY9xQgodyDEAvw

The entire text of 522. Note - there WILL be a campaign against 522, there's already a website set up for it, and there will be statements made that contradict statements made by Yes on 522. Read the bill, the entire bill, if you live or vote in Washington. You have a capable mind - decide for yourself. It took me 15 minutes to read. 

This is an uncomfortable topic, and it's hard to ingest so many hard facts - and yes, it's hard to know the truth. I could list two articles back to back that say polar opposite 'truths' about an identical topic. But the following is not complicated, and should not be hard:

We have a right to know what is in our food, and a right to decide what we will feed ourselves and our children. That's not too much ask.

Applause for the Ugly Lovely

For the mothers. And all the ugly lovely that fills your every day.

I think:

The cracks on your hands from washing thousands of dishes are lovely - for they show commitment, selflessness, responsibility, and humility.

The stains are your shirt are lovely - for they are testimony to the embrace being more important than the perception.

The stickiness of your floor is lovely - for it shows no pretense, but remembers the realities of your chaos, and the care you constantly give to it.

Your bare arms on a cold spring day are lovely - because the wet little girl wrapped in your jacket is testimony to love, and to puddle splashing being sometimes more important than practicality. 

The dirty diapers in your rubbish bin are lovely - for they show the gentleness, commitment, and selflessness required for the most simple and crucial and monotonous of tasks.

The time you burst into tears at the check out counter was lovely - for it showed humanity embraced by courage. If you were filled with paralyzing fear, you would never have made it to the store.

The toys strewn across the floor are lovely - for they speak of laughter, of financial sacrifice, of learning, and of play.

The germ infested thermometer in the sink is lovely - for it tells of gentleness, of accepting harm along with the good, and of preparedness put to use.

The used tissue on the bathroom counter is lovely - for I know it wiped your tears when you ducked into the bathroom to cry silently away from wondering eyes, to spare them from your humanity just a little longer so their world can be unshaken for a few more moments.

And I think you, in whatever state you're in, are lovely. Because the fact you are surrounded by the ugly lovely means you've stayed. You've stayed through the messes, through the tears, through the fits, through the brokenness, through the lost tempers (yes, even your own), through the long nights and early mornings. You've stayed. And staying is ugly lovely.

And while I love seeing the pictures of your beautiful children, and hearing your stories of amazing adventures, I know it's all possible because of the unnoticed ugly lovely. So, today, I call attention to, and I honor, the ugly lovely in your life and in mine - for it is the foundation for many beautiful things.

The lessons I will not teach

I've done a lot of thinking over the past 3 years - motherhood, while linguistically monotonous, is mentally exhausting. The constant need for ready answers, for gentle words, for succinct and accurate life lessons at a moment's notice - motherhood is anything but brainless.

Over the course of my life, I've worked with a lot of people, a lot of kids, a lot of different backgrounds/socio-economic standings/religions - and now, with 3 little years of motherhood as a modest platform, I've come a conclusion. There are some lessons, significant life lessons, lessons that some would tout as paramount to growing a successful/'good' human being, that I will not teach. I simply won't do it.

I won't teach these lessons because while I agree with their original core intent, I disagree with the result I think it produces in us as people. I won't teach these lessons because I think they are false lessons, and perhaps the reason so many of us went through crises in our adolescence (in addition to the fact we were adolescents) was that we were becoming aware of the realities of a world we'd been shielded from. Perhaps cynicism's roots are in childhood lessons. Perhaps disenchantment stems from simplified life lessons from those who should be best equipped to gently introduce us to the hardest realities.

But here's the thing - when I choose not to teach these lessons, I am choosing a much more difficult task. One I don't know the outcome of, and one that will require more mental attention, more careful structuring of sentences, and more availability to guide my little bundles of innocence and newness.

But I think it's right, to equip rather than shield, and to call to a higher standard than cater to my own fear of shattered innocence. I mean, can innocence be informed rather than shattered? I think so.

So - with that decided (and with very careful attention to making sure good parenting and my children's best remains at the core of these decisions), these are the lessons I will not teach.

* Fairness. I will not teach fairness. This world is not a fair place, and the simple fact my children were born into a home with literate parents who had stable incomes is a testament to that fact. Instead, I will teach kindness, consideration, and humility - for those things create a person who truly sees others, and who I think more truly sees themselves. But I will not teach fairness.

* Pity. I will not teach pity. Pity breeds fear. Pity tells us we are better than others, and that their position is to be avoided at all costs. Instead, I will teach compassion, generosity, and grace - because these things breed change and gratefulness. But I will not teach pity.

* Entitlement. I will not teach entitlement. While certain things - even simple things like physical safety, access to food, or right to free speech/right to education/right to equal treatment - may be good things, they are not guaranteed things. And just because they are accomplished in the moment, and even for the foreseeable future, does not mean they are guaranteed. Instead, I will teach self-respect, values founded on faith, and wisdom - for these things create an unshakeable person with hope and perspective. But I will not teach entitlement.

* To be against. I will not teach my children to be against things. When we are against things, we choose to participate in the defeat of something - we set ourselves in a position of power. Being against things breeds hatred, arrogance, and close-mindedness.  I will teach them to be for things. I will teach passion, courage, and perseverance - for these things create a person who will catalyze change, instill strength in others, and better the world. But I will not teach them to be against. (note - I recognize the dissonance of this particular lesson, since I'm saying I'm against being against things. Sometimes the actions of being for something and against something are the same, but the attitude behind them decides the basis for the action. Thus, the focus on all of the things I will teach. Figured that needed a little acknowledging :) )

And I think we all strive for about the same thing - none of us want to produce children who truly think fairness is an absolute reality, we know it's not. We don't want children who pity others, we don't want entitled children (though we might be pretty sure they came out into the world that way...), and we don't want children who view the world only as a set of negative obstacles to be squashed. But, it's hard, and in my play dates, in my running errands, in the television shows the kids watch, and even in my own conversations with my kids - I hear the subtleties of these lessons being taught. I see the timers being set so everyone gets a fair turn, I take too far the good allocation of toys to little people who need boundaries and inadvertently breed entitlement. 

With some of these lessons, I'm not even quite sure how I teach them, or if I do so accidentally - but I know they are taught by many and I don't want to teach them. So I vigilantly watch for little ways they sneak into my language, attitudes, and interactions with my children, and with others - for little eyes are always watching and little ears are always listening. And with some of these lessons, like fairness, I'll constantly juggle teaching my children to treat others with fairness (which I think is rooted in kindness, consideration, and humility) while not expecting fairness in return (though I will teach them to have a founded sense of self-worth that believes they have just as much of right to fairness as others - but while not teaching entitlement.... See? This is going to be tricky).

My point is simply this - I want to raise children who are strong, who are informed, who have strength of character that is built on knowledge of reality coupled with hope and faith. And so, there are the lessons I will not teach, and the ones I will teach instead.

I suppose my conclusion would be this - parenting is exhausting, and it's so easy to slip into auto-pilot and in those critical moments parrot the answers or phrases or explanations we know. But conscious, intentional, forward thinking parenting is much more likely to raise the people our children are capable of being - the people our children already are.